The Secret in Me... Tears

Prologue





[A/N] : This color is Hyun Hae
This color is Ji Yong


Prologue



“I fell down again and again.
But I keep on standing up.
I will never lose to myself or anyone.
This is me....my life!!
I must stay strong” – Hyun Hae.


“Why do you always say like that when at the end you are going to tearing up?!!
Why are you forcing yourself when you know you will be fall apart?!!
You always acting like nothing happen when you will teats yourself after that!!?
Why you always decided everything on your own when you have me?
It is always about you, isn’t it? How about me? Am I not that important in this?”



---



“On one early morning, it was sorrow.
Everyone wasn’t as cheerful as always.
So silent.....especially them; my parent.
They loved him so much more than anything. More than ever – more than me; their only daughter and second child in the family.


On the same morning, my brother died because of an accident.
Everyone was so sad.
He made their life such important role and everything always surrounding around him.
He was so perfect and idealist to them.
They praise him in how wise and great he was.
Everyone was very happy for him.
I’m so envy of him and when he was still here, everyone only know his existence.
Just him; and it was never about me.


The oldest child always got the most part and attention, wasn’t it?
I wonder if I was to be born first, will I be like in my brother shoes?
Could I be the one to be in their eyes – attention? And make them happy just like what my brother have done to them?
My parent...always goes on and on about him and never it was about me.
How sad, wasn’t it? Am I happy?
If I am, why am I so torture enough?
I tried my best but they never look at it. It was so unfair.


And when the day has come where there was no where to turn around, everyone that always around him....felt that world has stop spinning.
Time stop...and I just stared at how they mourn for him.


I wonder........if it was me in his place, will they care so much?
I wonder........if I can take my brother place so that he can be living alive...?
Even if I am alive or not, there is still no difference.
But to him.....nothing apart and he was always the number one for them.


Tears....
I have wasted million of tears already.


This is my life.....
This is The Secret in Me.” – Hyun Hae.




1 year has passed since the day Hyun Joong left the world.


“Eomma...I am going now.” – Hyun Hae.
“Ahh, is that you Hyun Joong?” – Hyun Hae mother – Mrs Kim.
“No dear, it’s Hyun Hae.” – Hyun Hae father – Mr Kim.
“Ahh....other than Hyun Joong, there is nothing for me.” – Mrs Kim.
“............” – Hyun Hae.



“Is this the life I am for? Is this the torture that bear within me?
How could my own mother do this to me?
Is only big brother important to him other than anything?”



“Hyun Hae, forgive your mother. She still.....” – Mr Kim, didn’t finish his sentence when Hyun Hae cut it off.
“.....I understand apppa. No need to tell me, it’s just hurt more than ever. Beside, the only one knows my existence was oppa.” – Hyun Hae.
“Hyun Hae.......” – Mr Kim.
“I have to go now or else I’ll be late.” – Hyun Hae.
“Be careful.” – Mr Kim.
“I always did. If you realizes earlier, then you would know.” – Hyun Hae. She storm off just like that.


On her way to the college in a rush, just as she nearly arrives, suddenly she bumps into someone making her fall hard to the ground.
The entire stuff that she brought has scatters all around the ground.


“.........” – Hyun Hae, lying on the ground in pain. She tries to standing up but she fails to do so. The one that she just crashed with just now, slowly he is lowering his body.
“Are you alright?” – ???
“......You seriously asking me that question?” – Hyun Hae.
“Here, let me help you.” – ???, helping Hyun Hae to stands up. “I’m sorry.”


Hyun Hae seems absentminded when the person talking to him as she dusts off the dirt away from her clothes.
He just waits and keeps on staring at her until she has responded him.
But nothing happen instead she picks up all of her stuffs that are on the ground.
Minutes later, when she is about to move forward, she realizes he is still there....waiting for her.


“........Are you waiting for someone here?” – Hyun Hae.
“Well...no, actually I’m waiting for you. You haven’t responded to me yet, so that is why I’m still here....waiting.” – ???
“Why do you want to do that?” – Hyun Hae.
“Oh...before that, you can call me Ji Yong.” – Ji Yong.
“.........” – Hyun Hae, she didn’t respond, again, and just like that she run off leaving Ji Yong behind.



“Eii...playing hard, ehh? If it wasn’t for Hyun Joong, I won’t bother my time to be here.
And now, you make it all like this....I am not going to let you go that easily.
Hyun Joong said to take care of you and I say I will ‘take very good care’ of you.
Just you wait...!!


So you are the one that Hyun Joong only sister that always cried, ehh?
Is my job now to make you stop crying?!!
Heh!! I don’t think so!!”



After the class has ended, Hyun Hae didn’t wait for anyone but to storm off just like that.
When she step out of the college area, she stop moving when she saw Ji Yong still at the same place and he is smirking at her when he saw her coming.
Hyun Hae a bit stun when she knew he is still there.
She tries to move but she fails to do so when her legs froze like a statue.
Slowly he moves towards her.


“Oiieee.” – Ji Yong, tucking his hands in his pocket jacket. He moves his head closer to Hyun Hae and gives her the stares.
“Hmm...?” – Hyun Hae. Then Ji Yong moves his head away from her and turns around facing the other way.
“Aishh....no wonder Hyun Joong wanted me to take care of his sister; pretty as her brother.” – Ji Yong.
“Brother? You....know my big brother?” – Hyun Hae.
“Of course I do. I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for him. We went to the same college before and I owe him lots of things. This is the only thing I can do for him; my promised to him.” – Ji Yong.
“Well then, goodbye. Anything that got to do with my brother, excluded me. Whatever you two have promised each others before; I am not interesting to know.” – Hyun Hae, moving forward.
“Oiieee....” – Ji Yong, catching up with Hyun Hae and stop in front of her. “Hey...I have wasted my time to come here just for that and I am so not going to let you go easily. Promised is a promised, I won’t break it just like that!!”
“Consider it done...!! So stop bothering me now, it will wasted more of your time.” – Hyun Hae.
“Hei!! Why...?” – Ji Yong.
“None of your concern. Go away....whatever your name is.” – Hyun Jae.


“Ji Yong....Kwon Ji Yong.” – Ji Yong.


Hyun Jae and Ji Yong stare at each other in a blank as they are making eye contacts.


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